This Black Woman Says Perfection Nearly Killed Her

Writing at Ebony, Danielle T. Pointdujour recalls how a serious health scare made her re-evaluate her commitment to being a "superwoman."

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Writing at Ebony, Danielle T. Pointdujour explains how a serious health scare made her re-evaluate her commitment to being "superwoman."

After two years of marriage we were blessed with twins Even though it was a struggle, I never slowed down my pace. I worked and took care of my family 24/7/365. I was determined not to fail, not to be my mother. I made dinner almost every night, made sure I was front and center for every event my children and husband had. I kept the house immaculate and hosted barbeques, dinners and parties like I planned events for a living.  My friends wondered how I did it all and envied my ability to juggle all aspects of my life flawlessly.

The problem was I was exhausted.

Sometime after my twins were first born is when the pains started. I had chest pains and headaches that would cripple the toughest man on Earth. I was always tired, even if I'd had eight hours of sleep. Who has time for doctor's appointments when presentations are due at work, kids need costumes sewn and my husband needs some adult play time? "I'll go next week" or "I'll go next month" is always what I told myself.

One evening after working a 10 hour day, rushing home to prepare dinner and then sitting through my children's two-hour long school play, my body said "no more." I collapsed in the parking lot. When I finally woke up from my coma -- three weeks later -- doctors told me I'd had a massive stroke brought on by high blood pressure, stress and a congenital heart defect that could've been treated if I had seen a doctor earlier.

I finally had time to focus on myself, but instead of going to the spa or catching up with girlfriends ... I was learning how to walk and eat again.

Read Danielle T. Pointdujour's entire piece at Ebony.

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