Abstinence Is Sexy

Monique N. Matthews, author of Sex Free, writes on Ebony that abstinence is on the rise, and maybe the idea of a life without sex isn't as foreign as some of us think.

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For some, a life without sex is no life at all, but Monique N. Matthews, author of Sex Free, writes on Ebony that it's not so uncommon. In fact, some people who partake in abstinence say it's the best way to enjoy their lives.

Sultry actress Meagan Goode and her aptly paired Hollywood studio exec husband Devon Franklin are the most recent high-profile couple to publicly share their abstinence pledge prior to marriage. They join Mariah and Nick Cannon, Angela Bassett and Courtney Vance, Reverend Run and Justine Simmons, as well as singletons like New York Jets quarterback Tim Tebow, Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones, rocker sex god Lenny Kravitz (who as of 2009 maintained a celibacy pledge of four years), and apparently a growing number of you EBONY.com readers, according to responses from a recent call for anonymous confessions on the subject.

Motives vary. For some, being sex free for a reason or season is a way to heal from past relationships. For those more goal-oriented, it's a way to eliminate distractions, especially those casual “friends with benefits” hookups which begin under the premise of fun and exciting old no-strings-attached sex, but all too often dissolve into emotional roadkill, leaving one or both parties worse for the wear and even further derailed from the timely realization of deeply cherished personal and/or career plans.

Several are motivated by obedience to the dictates of their faith and/or as a way to develop stronger spiritual ties with a non-religious specific Creator. Still others see periods of celibacy as a way to gain a stronger sense of self.

Read Monique N. Matthew's entire piece at Ebony.

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