Who Won Chris Brown’s Latest Twitter Fight?

Not battered women or anyone who advocates for them, that's for sure.

Chris Brown (Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment)
Chris Brown (Jason Merritt/Getty Images Entertainment)

(The Root) — Not too long ago, one of my best friends sent me this frantic text: “OMG I’m at the office and just saw that security guard who looks EXACTLY like Darren. I’m totally freaking out. I’m getting a taser!!”

You would think this Darren guy had done her some terrible wrong. That he had hurt her so personally and deeply that she should not only fear but also rally against him. But no, “Darren” (not his real name) was my college boyfriend, a first love who after four semesters and as many breakups would devolve into my first real-life bogeyman. “Things” ended beyond badly. The police were involved, and after all these years, so are all my friends.

To this day, Darren is brought up in irreverent (though hushed) tones whenever we’re sitting around reminiscing about undergrad life. Not only does he represent my biggest mistake and lesson, but he’s also an easy punch line and parable. Soon after I got that text reminding us of him once again, we did some Google stalking and confirmed our suspicions that Darren was still “nuts.” The villain in a story rarely gets redemption because if he did, the rest of us would be left wanting.

I wonder if the same could be said of the celebrity villains whose bad behavior goes through a predictable 24-hour news cycle that ticks from shocking to sad to Twitter stalking. Take, for example, the recent dustup between comedian Jenny Johnson and embattled entertainer Chris Brown.

Johnson has a history of “hating” Brown. She “frequently makes fun at the expense of controversial R&B singer Chris Brown,” according to an article in the Huffington Post about how Brown recently replied to Johnson’s regular quips.

Basically, the man went a little overboard — if by “overboard” you mean tweeting vulgar, violent and threatening “jokes.”

On Sunday Brown tweeted, “I look old as [f–k]! I’m only 23 … ,” which sounds innocent enough if you don’t have an allergic reaction to everything Chris Brown does. Johnson, who has tweeted about Brown since 2009, saw that as her opening, replying, “I know! Being a worthless piece of [sh–] can really age a person. RT @chrisbrown: I look old as [f–k]! I’m only 23 … “

Brown then began barraging Johnson with several tweets about oral sex and bodily functions. It was gross, to say the least, and totally misogynistic, to say the most. For her part Johnson, who once wrote, “If I take a verbal shot at Chris Brown via my Twitter page, I know the rest of the day will be filled with Team Breezy @ replies,” refused to back down.

She corrected his grammar (apparently the colloquialism of whore, “ho,” doesn’t have an “e”), threw out her own f-bombs and tweeted back an MTV News story about the details of Brown’s arrest for beating his then-girlfriend Rihanna in 2009.