The Trouble With Being a Sugar Mama

Blogging at Clutch magazine, Janelle Harris tackles the perennial problem of women who try to win the affections of men by giving up themselves and their own money when they should be looking out for number one.

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Blogging at Clutch magazine, Janelle Harris tackles the perennial problem of women who try to win the affections of men by giving up themselves and their own money when they should be looking out for number one.

My mother taught me a lot of things about guys that I suspect she had to learn firsthand. I don't know much about my father -- and that's probably for the best -- but I hear he's got the gift to smooth-talk a multitude of women at any given time. Considering two of the nine half-siblings he created are less than a year younger than I am, I'd say that sounds about right. (You do the math. Emory thought he had hoes in different area codes way before Luda did.)

That's probably why my mama insisted I have more respect for myself than to give up my body to just any ol' knucklehead who nibbled on my sweet spots and whispered a few cheesy compliments in my ear. She told me not to rely on a man for anything I could do for myself, from changing a tire to balancing a checkbook. And she regularly warned me that trying to keep a guy content with material things and all kinds of special favors was only going to leave me broke, busted and disgusted, as demonstrated by the ‘hood heartbreak unfolding under my window.

I listened, for the most part, until I fell hard and just had to underscore her warnings with my own experience because, like a true hardheaded Taurus/Gemini, I couldn't be warned that the stove was hot without touching a burner for confirmation. It was fine during the relationship. All pink ponies and pretty rainbows because I was helping my bay. We were gonna get married, we were gonna have a family, we were gonna frolic through a lifetime of conjoined bliss.

Read Janelle Harris' entire piece at Clutch magazine.

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