Break Up to Make Up: A Fool's Game?

Ask Demetria: If you're thinking about getting back with an ex, give it some serious thought.

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Note the wording I used there: "move toward." After a breakup, even when both partners want to be together, I don't suggest that they just jump right back into a commitment. You broke up for a reason. Maybe it was a frivolous fight and one of you said something you didn't mean in the heat of an argument. Perhaps it was an ongoing problem, and one of you finally had the last straw.

Whatever the cause or causes, you need to have a serious conversation, or a series of them, about how to address the issues in the relationship. You also need to discover together and then implement methods of addressing those issues in a way that works better for both of you. Just getting back together doesn't do that.

Good luck!

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria@theroot.com. 

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