Did His Crazy Ex-Girl Ruin Our Dating Bliss?

Ask Demetria: If a new boo's alleged old flame gets pissy with you, maybe she's not that old.


That he’s been ignoring your calls indicates that you are low on his hierarchy of importance. Even if there is no crazy ex, when he stops picking up the phone, it’s like a big blinking light at midnight on the Vegas strip: He’s just not that into you.

What’s likely happened is that when he discovered that his girlfriend had found about you, he had to scramble to make things right, either to keep the peace or because he genuinely cares about her. His reasons for being MIA matter less than the bottom line: He likely can’t call you because he’s tied up — figuratively, of course — trying to get back into good standing with her.

I know you liked him, so accepting that might hurt. Don’t make the mistake of many women by allowing his careless treatment of your feelings to define how you think of yourself. Also, don’t let his behavior define your ideas of men in general. Some are pretty great. Others aren’t so much. Try to judge each one on his own merits — or, in this case, the lack thereof.

Good luck!

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria@theroot.com.

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