Unlike Carrie Bradshaw after the infamous “Post-it” breakup — and breakdown — on HBO’s Sex & The City, Essence columnist Nathan Hale Williams advises in a recent piece that the best revenge is class. Instead of slashing your ex’s tires or posting those less-than-flattering pictures on Facebook, hit the gym and work on making your life better. This way, when your ex-flame spots you out on the town, you’ll get the last laugh.
“The best revenge for an ex is good looking.” I encouraged her not to give him, or the situation, more energy than either deserved. Instead, I recommended she take advantage of the opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade. She should put all of that energy into herself. During their relationship, she did what many of us do, and wasn’t working out as much. She traded in the evening workout sessions for romantic dinners and drinks. And, after a few months, physically she wasn’t as tight as she was at the beginning of the relationship. Moreover, her world had been consumed by dating him and she’d let some of her side-business projects go. I knew it would serve her spirit a world of good to reengage in her own life and not wallow in her pain.
My sister-friend decided to take my advice, not slash his tires, and shake it off instead. She got back to her regular work out regimen, jumped back into developing her business and almost immediately started dating again. Dating is like riding a horse. If you fall off, the best thing to do is to brush yourself off, get back up there and ride again.
Fast forward to last week. We were in the Meatpacking District of New York City with her new boyfriend and other friends having drinks outside. And, lo and behold, guess who we see walking down the street? E-mail jerk.
Read Nathan Hale Williams’ entire piece at Essence.
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