A Love Square: Him, Him, Me and My Kid

Ask Demetria: Time to draw boundaries when her ex bribes their daughter for info on her new boyfriend.

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Of course, the go-to assumption is that he's jealous of your new relationship or bitter about the split and wants to make your life hell. But he could also just be skeptical of the new man in your life with whom he doesn't get along, and that same man is spending more time with his daughter than he does. Another person having more access to your child than you do is a hard pill for most parents to swallow.

Because your ex is at the point where he's bribing the child you share, I actually don't expect this conversation to go all that smoothly. I encourage you to focus on problem solving instead of a power struggle, just as the therapist or mediator would. It's not about being right or wrong; it's about having peace and getting your ex out of your business.

Demetria L. Lucas is a contributing editor to The Root, a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life. She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each week. Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria@theroot.com.

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