What Adult Bullies Look Like

Jet editor and life coach S. Tia Brown weighs in at Ebony about grown-up bullies and how to spot them.

Posted:
 
basketball20wives20kiesha20tami20519201220400hc
VH1

Recently Basketball Wives viewers watched as Tami Roman attacked castmate Kesha Nichols for what appeared to be no reason. While fighting is standard fare in contemporary reality shows, S. Tia Brown writes in Ebony that adults are weak by choice, where as children are relegated to that position due to circumstances that are larger than they are -- so why didn't the other castmates intervene?

We all know that Tami Roman is broken and has savage-like tendencies. It doesn't take much imagination to connect the dots between her helplessness as a rape victim and the trauma of being the penniless ex-wife of a one time multimillionaire (the latter largely due to her own poor choices) has manifested as rage against anyone who she thinks she can get an easy win against. But why would Shaunie, Evelyn and Suzie go along to get along? Many may say they are just as weak as the victim.

Friends are not afraid to speak the truth to other friends. Just as Tami tormented Kesha, she's instilled fearful complacency into her other castmates. Evelyn cried just relaying the event. She identified with the feelings of powerlessness because she was scared to say what was right— and face Tami's wrath.

Dealing with a bully isn't easy. And it isn't always best to confront them, but you must always stand your ground. As an adult the impact of your silence is booming. When we are children we are often weakened by circumstances beyond our control. Grown-ups are weak by choice.

Read S. Tia Brown's entire op-ed at Ebony.

The Root aims to foster and advance conversations about issues relevant to the black Diaspora by presenting a variety of opinions from all perspectives, whether or not those opinions are shared by our editorial staff.

Like The Root on FacebookFollow us on Twitter.