Lessons From 'Basketball Wives' on Avoiding Adult Bullies

Ebony contributor S. Tia Brown, a licensed therapist and coach, uses the drama-packed reality show as the inspiration for her latest advice.

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Basketball Wives (VH1)

Ebony contributor S. Tia Brown, a licensed therapist and coach, uses the drama-packed reality show as the inspiration for her latest advice.

I have never been bullied. And as a child I’ve never watched anyone be terrorized. That’s why it surprised me, as well as many others, to watch a recent episode of Basketball Wives featuring Tami Roman confiscating castmate Kesha Nichols', purse, then taunting and tormenting her before deciding to give it back.

There were so many things wrong with the scenario. First, Tami calling the girl “scary” for not wanting to confront her while she was acting like an ogre. And then the ridiculous notion that calling the authorities on someone who is tormenting you is an act of betrayal. And finally, the mental manipulation Tami used when she finally returned the bag -- stating that she was just holding it because Kesha left it and she should be grateful. Right ...

Dealing with a bully isn’t easy. And it isn’t always best to confront them, but you must always stand your ground. As an adult the impact of your silence is booming. When we are children we are often weakened by circumstances beyond our control. Grown-ups are weak by choice.

Tip: T​he best way to handle an adult bully? Don’t associate with them. They can only prey on you if you allow them to be part of your circle -- and that is your choice. Sentence them to time out unless they are willing to do better, and be better. And if they become forceful call the cops. Most bullies are only tough when things are easy.

Read S. Tia Brown's entire piece at Ebony.

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