Black Dating: Love, Fear, Pressure and Bridezillas

The Root DC blogger Nicole Moliere writes that some people are more afraid for single black women than they are. She explores why.

Posted:
 
black20dating_400
Thinkstock

In a blog entry at The Root DC, Nicole Moliere writes about the unflagging misperception that all single black women are desperate to find a mate. It's time to flip the script, she says.

I once wrote that “family” is the original “F” word, but when it comes to dating and relationships, another word that could vie for the title is “fear.”

For single African-American women, the pressure to create a pair bond and get married can be relentless. In fact, the pressure is so strong, I sometimes get the suspicious feeling that everyone else out there is more afraid of us being single and having options than we are.

What is everyone so afraid of?

I went on a date recently with a ruggedly handsome, intelligent and funny guy. It was a great night, filled with stimulating conversation, laughter and, in the end, high-quality intimacy. Is it my intention to exclusively date or eventually try to marry this guy? No. Why? Because I have the emotional muscle and maturity to understand that our backgrounds, entanglements and existing commitments preclude us from that kind of a connection.

In other words, I don’t want to marry every man that I date. I can enjoy a gentleman’s company without feeling the pressure to explain why he and I are not monogamous or why I’m not devising Operation Bridezilla in order to get hitched to him.

Read Nicole Moliere's entire blog entry at The Root DC.

Like The Root on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter.