2 Words Men Should Never Say to Women

To stay out of harm's way, men should avoid discussing fat or weaves with women, L.Z. Granderson jokes in his CNN column.

CNN contributor L.Z. Granderson spins a hilarious yarn about why men should avoid discussing fat and weaves with women in order to avoid confrontations and hurt feelings.

I don’t know if it’s sexism or wisdom or just plain fear, but men have been socialized to avoid saying two words in the presence of women.

The first is “fat.”

I know I don’t go there.

And I don’t see a good reason why any man should.

When women use the word around me I pretend not to hear it, and if asked a question with the word “fat” in it, I sneeze in my hand and then ask for a tissue. Juvenile, yes, but it allows me to change the subject without having to answer the question. And I don’t ever want to answer that question.

Speaking of questions, the second word we should all stay away from is “weave.”

I don’t care if a man sees a woman bald at the office on Wednesday, with blond finger waves at the club on Friday, and with jet black hair down to her butt at church on Sunday — if anyone asks if she wears a weave, the answer is “I don’t know.” She could be holding a receipt from Weaves R Us in one hand, and five pounds of hair in the other, and he should say “I’m not sure.” 

Read L.Z. Granderson’s complete column at CNN.