Forget Tiger Moms; All Hail the Lioness Mom

Despite the brouhaha over Tiger Mothers, Asians aren't the only strict parents who raise straight-A students.

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yvonnethornton

Over the past few weeks, Amy Chua, author of the polarizing new parenting memoir Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, has clawed her way to the top of best-seller lists. And the backlash has been in hot pursuit as thousands of angry journalists, bloggers and parents have decried her take-no-prisoners parenting strategies, calling her abusive, disturbed and, worst of all, a mommie dearest. In her book, Chua, a Yale Law professor, discusses her struggle to raise brilliant, accomplished children -- straight-A students and musical prodigies -- using the lessons of her super-strict Chinese immigrant parents.

But another mom, also the author of a memoir that landed in bookstores about the same time as Chua's, has already done it. She, too, was raised by super-strict, old-world parents, and she brought up her kids the same way. This mom, however, is black, and she prefers to be called a lioness.

"Parents don't have high-enough expectations; they give up on their kids," says Dr. Yvonne S. Thornton, 63, author of the new book Something to Prove: A Daughter's Journey to Fulfill a Father's Legacy. "No, I'm not a Tiger Mom; I'm a lioness. I growl when I need to growl, and set the bar high."

That strategy worked for her: Her son, Woody, now 32 and training to be a neurosurgeon, was a national junior chess champion who graduated cum laude from Harvard. Kimberly, her 30-year-old daughter, also a chess star, graduated from Stanford, received a master's degree from Columbia and is now in her first year at Howard University College of Medicine. Both were A students who began classical-piano lessons before the age of 2.

You may have heard of Thornton, author of the 1995 memoir The Ditchdigger's Daughters. It topped best-seller lists, caught the eye of Oprah and was made into an award-winning movie starring Carl Lumbly and Kimberly Elise. The book and movie tell the story of Donald Thornton, who with his wife, Itasker, raised five daughters on a ditchdigger's salary. His only dream was to see the day when each of them would be called Dr. Thornton.

Yvonne Thornton was the first of the five Dr. Thorntons. With the help of money earned while performing in the all-girl family band, the Thornton Sisters, she graduated with both an M.D. and an M.P.H. from Columbia University. Thornton is now a renowned specialist and clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at New York Medical College and Westchester Medical Center.

Something to Prove picks up where The Ditchdigger's Daughters left off. The memoir tells the story of Thornton's struggle to achieve the goals her father laid out for her in childhood and, at the same time, balance a demanding medical career with the challenge of managing a home and raising her children. Thornton says she decided to write the new book after readers of her earlier memoir wanted to understand how to "have it all."

"I thought everything was in that first book and couldn't imagine another until I had children," says Thornton, who lives in Teaneck, N.J., with her husband of 36 years, who's also a physician.

"People asked me, 'How do you do all this and raise good children, too?' I hope readers will take away from the new book the message passed down from my parents to me and from me to my children: With hard work, determination and education, you can achieve anything."

Thornton says that her parenting style has been closer to Chua's than to that of so many overly permissive parents in our age of "everybody plays; everybody wins." She was never afraid to say no -- to video games, to hanging out and to sleepovers.