Single-Minded: Montana Fishburne's Daddy Issues

Memo to all the A-list problem children out there: There's a difference between famous and infamous.

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Nancy Ostertag/Getty Images Entertainment

Montana Fishburne clearly has some serious daddy issues. On Thursday it was reported that the 19-year-old daughter of actor Laurence Fishburne has been pimped out by her boyfriend J Pipes. Oh, and then, of course, there was last week's announcement that the young Ms. Fishburne (porn name: Chip-D) will be co-starring with Mr. Pipes in Montana Exposed, an XXX video to be released by Vivid Entertainment.

According to Montana, who claims she has a lot of confidence, her master plan is to forgo the traditional path to celebrity -- hard work, Ramen noodles, good luck -- and instead go the way of the Kardashians. Sort of.

"I view making this movie as an important first step in my career," Montana said in an interview. "I've watched how successful Kim Kardashian became, and I think a lot of it was due to the release of her sex tape by Vivid. I'm hoping the same magic will work for me. I'm impatient about getting well-known and having more opportunities, and this seemed like a great way to get started on it."

So not even the daughter of Shakespeare's Othello knows the difference between famous and infamous. "What part of the Kardashian game is that?" asked a friend of mine last week as we rode past Vivid's innocuous offices in north Hollywood on our way to potluck dinner with a bunch of married folks.

If Kim Kardashian is to be believed, though clearly not shy, she didn't have a direct hand in the leaking of her sex tape with then-boyfriend R&B singer Ray J. According to a statement released by Vivid Entertainment, the porn industry's sex-tape clearinghouse, the young Ms. Fishburne is totally in control of her situation. Steven Hirsch, Vivid's founder, said the decision to make the tape was all hers.

"When we first met, we were impressed with not just her beauty but how self-possessed she is," Hirsch said in a video interview on his company's Web site. Because of the unprecedented demand from consumers and retailers, Vivid has decided to bump up the release of Montana Exposed to August 10 -- just in time for back-to-school shopping, I guess. Vivid's Web site says that in Montana Exposed, the little girl with the big last name is caught doing the deed, every which way! "This A-list daughter has an X-rated mind! She is nasty, dirty and filthy ... she looks like a princess and acts like a porn star."

In yet another video (what did we do before the advent of Youtube?), Jeremy, who looks a lot like Corbin Bleu from High School Musical, introduces himself and Chip-D as a new porn couple. He doesn't look like a pimp or even a caricature of one. There is no cheap zoot suit or gold-plated sippy cup. Instead we see just a tiny teenager who looks as if he weighs about 140 pounds soaking wet with rocks in his pockets, mumbling under his breath about a freaky empire.

For her part, BFF Nene, who claims to have both loved and hoed for Jeremy in the past, is also starring in a porno because, unlike Montana, she just loves sex and the porn industry so very much. "Montana isn't that kind of girl," Nene says directly to the camera over the loud easy rock playing in what looks to be a hipster coffee shop. "She's a good person."

Because none of these idiots -- er, children -- look old enough to buy beer, much less sign contracts, who is actually in control of this horrific Sex Chronicles for the Teenaged Soap Opera is still unknown. Laurence Fishburne has, at least publicly, stayed out of it. His child is dragging her name -- and his -- through the mud, and something other than money is clearly at stake. Less than a year ago, folks wondered what ever happened to In the House co-star Maia Campbell; those wondering got a rude awakening that involved mental illness, drugs and prostitution. What's stopping Montana from becoming the next Maia, who is currently in jail again?

Nene says the porn-prostitution ring "is not right for Montana" and that "she isn't that type of girl." But what makes "that type of girl," exactly? What if, instead of "sugar and spice and all things nice," little girls these days are made of something more sinister? Perhaps short attention spans, greed and desperation. Either way, each of these broken little women -- Montana, Nene, Maia -- should strive (and seek help) to become whatever the opposite of "that type of girl" is. Maybe then, boys like J Pipes and Steve Hirsch of Vivid, both pimps, will have only themselves to play with.