Fly Little Biracial Balloon Boy, Fly…

That Louisiana justice of the peace only needs to worry about biracial kids if they get trapped in runaway balloons.

Boy Feared Aloft In Balloon Found Safely At Home

If you happen to be a biracial kid stuck growing up in a miscegenation-phobic time-warp like Tangipahoa Parish, La., where Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell apparently refuses to marry interracial couples because he feels “the children will suffer later,” then you, at some point, might have dreamed of floating away in your father’s helium balloon across the plains to a more welcoming part of the country.

The aptly named Falcon Heene—would-be renegade balloon pilot and biracial superstar of the week—almost made it happen…


We don’t know whether or not the nation’s momentary fear that young Falcon was trapped in a homemade balloon craft sailing through the Colorado skies was real or a hoax, but for the record, those of us fortunate enough to grow up in masala-friendly hamlets like D.C.’s Adams Morgan, Brooklyn’s Fort Greene or Oakland’s Rockridge would have welcomed the sight of one of our biracial brethren floating “home” in a silver getaway orb.

Fortunately for Heene, it turned out that he was safe on the ground the whole time. Unfortunately for him, he might be the one biracial kid in America that Bardwell really should worry about.