R. Kelly Gets Schooled

With his latest release, R. Kelly couples his same old thang with new-school tracks, proving, yet again, that the R & B crooner has no business bopping with the kiddies.

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“The passion, the sex, girl, sick like a clinic.”

“Shorty’s screaming aaahh, like I got two in it.”

“Making your body shake like a horror movie.”

“Got the Bentley like a cabin, all wood.”

 “I’m about to blow up in you like a hurricane.”

“Like I’m on the frontlines, a soldier’s gonna wait for ya.”

“Shorty I wanna be your present, girl unwrap me.”


Last year, R. Kelly released a remix to Raheem DeVaughn’s Dream-penned single “Customer,” a song about fast food turned freaky. Toward the end, Kelly sings, “Raheem, young fella, this song reminds me of something that I would do.” It’s an admirable co-sign that shows how much Kelly has inspired other singers with the long-form metaphor technique of his own brilliantly absurd singles like “You Remind Me of Something,” “Sex in the Kitchen” and “Ignition.” 

There are few glorious instances like that on The Demo Tape. Minus the Auto-Tune, it’s not exactly a bad effort. Perhaps “not bad” is the best we can get from R. Kelly, whose next album, Untitled, is scheduled for release this year.  Chances are, he’ll try to convince us again that he’s the same old R. But with his career and image permanently scarred, you have to wonder why anyone would want to be the old R. Kelly anymore. Least of all him.