The 40-Year-Old Re-Virgin

A Mocha Chocolata Ya-Ya ruminates on ten years of not getting any.

Posted:
 
(Continued from Page 1)

If I had really wanted to have sex in the last decade, I could have. But as much as I miss the exhilaration and intimacy of being with a man, I'm not desperate. And I'm not willing to give my body to just anyone - particularly without the possibility of a long-term relationship and commitment. And while I am lonely, I am not alone. I have mastered eating by myself in nice restaurants, going to movies and attending the theater unescorted. I have friends and family who love me and with whom I enjoy spending time.

I would like to find a man with whom I could be equally yoked in intelligence, ambition, values, and a mutually shared physical chemistry. But short of a miracle, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I may never have another meaningful, healthy relationship - much less a sexual relationship - in my life. It's disheartening when I really stop and absorb the reality that I could likely spend the remainder of my life uncoupled— and sexually unsatisfied--simply because I choose to wait until an adequate black mate comes along.

Jennifer E. Mabry is a writer living in Colorado. She holds a Ph.D. in communications from the University of Maryland, College Park and is a cultural anthropologist of race, gender and popular culture.

Comments
The Root encourages respectful debate and dialogue in our commenting community. To improve the commenting experience for all our readers we will be experimenting with some new formats over the next few weeks. During this transition period the comments section will be unavailable to users.

We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your continued support of The Root.

While we are experimenting, please feel free to leave feedback below about your past experiences commenting at The Root.