Damon Young writes:
How To Secure a Loan for $30,000
1. Find the nearest bank.
2. Rob it.
3. Return the next day with all of the money. This will build trust.
4. Do this two more times. After the third time, the bank manager will be so impressed by your magnanimousness that he’ll allow you to keep the money.
How To Have Sex
1. Get naked
2. After getting naked, pause to put on Timberlands and Ray-Bans.