Spencer Platt/Getty Images

Does anyone think that big walking cold sore Stephen Bannon willfully let go of the most powerful position he will ever hold?

On the departure of now-former White House chief strategist Bannon, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders said in a statement:

White House Chief of Staff John Kelly and Steve Bannon have mutually agreed today would be Steve’s last day. We are grateful for his service and wish him the best.

This may be the story they’re telling, but it sounds like yet another little white lie from a White House full of white nationalists and white supremacists. Bannon may indeed have handed in his resignation and is leaving just about one year from the day he joined Sweet Potato Saddam’s presidential campaign, but like most things surrounding his tenure in the White House, his leaving reeks of acrimony.

Advertisement

Days ago, the failing New York Times reported that Rupert Murdoch tried to convince President Trump to fire Bannon and received very little pushback from the newfound Confederate cheerleader:

At a recent dinner at the White House with Mr. Kushner and Mr. Kelly, before Mr. Trump decamped for a working vacation at his private golf club in Bedminster, N.J., the president listened while one of the guests, Mr. Murdoch, a founder of Fox News, said Mr. Bannon had to go.

Mr. Trump offered little pushback, according to a person familiar with the conversation, and vented his frustrations about Mr. Bannon. Mr. Murdoch is close to Mr. Kushner, who has been in open warfare with Mr. Bannon since the spring.

Last week, Politico noted that the new White House Chief of Staff John Kelly was looking around at White House staff trying to figure out everyone’s purpose—particularly Bannon’s:

The role of chief strategist Steve Bannon has come under particular scrutiny in several conversations, particularly because he has a large staff, including an outside public relations expert, but no specific duties.

And days later, the Daily Beast claimed that Bannon’s enemies found a friend in Kelly:

Kelly, in his various conversations with other White House aides, has heard from at least three White House officials that “Bannon is a problem,” according to one Bannon colleague.

Some Trump officials have been quick to blame Bannon for ongoing tensions, which often stem from heated, vocal ideological disagreements between Bannon and his fellow Trump advisers. Those same officials are all-but-openly hoping that Kelly brings the axe down on Bannon in the coming weeks, if not sooner.

“[Kelly] has made it clear to everyone he… wants an end to the drama,” one senior Trump administration official told The Daily Beast, describing Kelly’s desire for reining in Trump’s staff.

Although many thought the events that took place in Charlottesville, Va., and the horrific comments Tropicana Jong Il made in response to them would be just enough to finally get ol’ white-nationalist-loving Bannon out of the White House, most know better. It wasn’t the racism that got Bannon the axe; it was Bannon getting far too much attention. It was Bannon getting all the kudos for 45’s election win—specifically Bloomberg reporter Joshua Green’s book, Devil’s Bargain: Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, and the Storming of the Presidency.

Bannon’s case was likely not helped by the interview he gave to the progressive-leaning publication the American Prospect, where he sounded like he was actually president of the United States of America. Habanero Hitler was already vexing over that Time cover featuring Bannon and those Saturday Night Live skits portraying Bannon as the the Barney to his Baby Bop, the Bell Biv to his DeVoe and the Swae Lee to that other one in Rae Sremmurd.

That’s why Sunny D Zedong is mad at Bannon, and that’s why Bannon is out.

For those thinking that Bannon’s exit—after he reportedly consistently leaked info about his White House adversaries like Boy Wonder Jared and Lt. Gen. H.R. McMaster—will suddenly bring a nice glass of chill to the Bankruptcy Batista administration, hardy har, bitch. Hardy har. Honeysuckle Lenin is a lunatic and no staff member will be able to contain him. The same goes for his racism, since both Bannon and Tangerine Mussolini are their own respective racism monuments.

Advertisement

No, all of the chaos that has taken place since January will continue. What will likely change, though, is the “alt-right,” which is 2017 lingo for “racist sum’bitch with internet access,” whispering sweet nothings to Minute Maid Mao. Kelly may think Bannon’s departure will end the drama, but Bannon is about to reconnect with the old gang at Breitbart and bring the pain.

This is a Breitbart editor who tweeted this minutes after the news broke. This dude is not singing Edwin Starr; he’s speaking on behalf of the bigot who gets Seinfeld checks.

Axios has also reported:

  • Bannon has felt liberated since it became clear he was being pushed out, according to friends. He’s told associates he has a “killing machine” in Breitbart News, and it’s possible he returns to lead their editorial operation.
  • A source familiar with Breitbart’s operations told me they would go “thermonuclear” against “globalists” that Bannon and his friends believe are ruining the Trump administration, and by extension, America.
  • Watch for Breitbart’s Washington Editor Matt Boyle to be a central figure in this war — which has already begun — against White House officials like HR McMaster, Dina Powell, Gary Cohn, and Jared and Ivanka.

And one former aide echoed this to Bloomberg:

Even if he continues to support the president, he may become aggressive in attacking the administration’s more traditional Republican players and policies. He has ample access to funding through his close relationships with conservative billionaire Bob Mercer and other major Republican donors.

Kurt Bardella, a Republican communications specialist who worked for Bannon at Breitbart but later denounced him, predicted the departing strategist would “feel liberated” by his departure.

“Now, he will be able to operate openly and freely to inflict as much damage as he possibly can on the ’globalists’ that remain in the Trump Administration,” Bardella said.

They also claim that Sebastian Gorka, a Bannon ally and another white nationalist sympathizer, may be on the chopping block, too. I hope they fire him by the end of this sentence so it will make Bannon even madder. I doubt that White Walker Stephen Miller goes, but hopefully he gets his somehow, too.

Steve Bannon is much like y’all’s president. He’s racist, he’s pompous to the point that he might suck his own cock, as one former White House communications director might argue, and he loves attention. The only key difference between the two is that Bannon isn’t a complete idiot. Bannon is also a true believer in terms of ideology, whereas Hoghead Cheese Hussein doesn’t really care about anything and is largely fueled by KFC, McDonald’s and narcissism.

While both clowns and their factions are frightening for varying reasons, I must say that I am very much looking forward to the white-on-white crime that’s going to happen as a result of Bannon’s White House ID being chopped and screwed. Bannon will want revenge, and that means he will be harassing his former co-workers and perpetual clowns along with all those Pepe the Frog-exploiting fucks. He’ll go even harder on Gargamel, or House Speaker Paul Ryan, as some refer to him, and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. And knowing Sunkist Stalin, he will tweet something foul about Bannon and really set him off.

Like, please go off, Steve Bannon. What is the white nationalist/white devil equivalent of Lil Jon’s “Bust a nigga head to the white meat, white meat”? Tell Bannon to do that to his former colleagues. Stat.

Advertisement

Let all of those white-hood, neo-Nazi-enabling fucks tear each other down. People have been predicting a conservative civil war for so long. Please, oh please, let the latest happenings on The Real Housewives of White Nationalism be the start of it.

If we all have to suffer, so should they.